Saturday, May 12, 2012

CAUTION! Juicing May Be Hazardous To Your Health!

I had seen a plant, a few weeks ago,  growing near the creek at the “bottom” of our land,  and though I couldn’t take time to stop and examine it that day, I reminded myself to check it out another day.  Its leaves looked like some sort of mint- maybe peppermint or spearmint.  If it was, in fact, I would dig it up and bring it up to the house to be transplanted here in our garden.  Then, I could experiment and maybe be able to enjoy it in some of my juices!  

Today, being such a bea-uuu-tiful morning, I decided to take my “boys,” Kodi and Augie, two of my closest buddies-  Kodi, we rescued and Augie, our Blue Heeler- on a ride on the golf cart to identify, and if necessary, retrieve that plant.

I gathered my cellphone (in case of emergency!) my camera (in case I needed to capture some wonderful natural surprise!) my hand spade and my gloves.  I told my boys, “Let’s go for a ride!” and as always, they took off in a mad dash to see who would take shotgun this time.  Kodi won, as usual.

The ride was enjoyable.  The boys were happy , both riding along with their noses jutted up into the air, taking in all the scents that elude our human senses.  I took a few photos of edible plants and things to share with my Juicy Peeps online. 

For my boys’ enjoyment, we took the “scenic route,” all around the yard, down the driveway, back up the other driveway, around the flower garden, around both vegetable gardens, around the outbuildings.  When we got down to the bottom, we got off the golf cart and walked all along the creek bank and took a few pictures.  Negotiating the tall weeds was tricky in spots, as it was all overgrown now, unlike earlier in the spring when we could see every new plant coming up.  Sad to say, but what I thought might be peppermint or spearmint turned out to be a weed.

When we rode back up from the bottom land, I decided to treat the boys to a bit longer ride, since they   so love it.  So I circled our five-acre property a few times, zipping along quite fast, cutting corners short and laughing, in the wind, at my boys,  because even though they loved it, both of them had learned to hunker down and brace themselves and hang on for dear life when Mommy goes fast. 

But all good things must come to an end and this was no exception.  I parked the cart in the old barn and we all jumped down to head back for the house.  I gathered up my gloves,  camera , the hand spade and my Android……..uh, wh…where’s my Android?  WHERE THE HELL IS MY ANDROID??!!!!  It, unfortunately, was nowhere to be seen.

I looked over the whole golf cart.  No phone.  I checked my pockets, as I thought I had put it in my sweater pocket.   I checked my pockets again.  I was in such a state of shock, I’m not completely sure here,  but I think I might have even checked ‘em a third time!  No phone. HOLY COW!!!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  We had just made a eight-mile trek, round and round again,  all over God’s creation, from the top to the bottom, literally, and back again.  And I had to now WALK every step of it to try to find my cellphone?!  Now here’s where I need to insert some information:

The “top” land is our yard, it’s about 3 acres and mowed.  The “bottom” land is the other SEVERAL  ACRES!  That’s not the worst part.  The worst part is……(yes, I’m shouting here)  IT AIN’T MOWED!!!!!!!!!!  It’s all weeds and those bad boys are at least 2 feet tall, due to all the rain we’ve enjoyed lately!

My mind was racing.  I ran into the house and got the cordless phone and went back out to the barn to begin tracing back over our path.  I dialed my cellphone and as I dialed, I said aloud to God, “Now God, I know we’re not supposed to make deals with you, but here’s the deal:   If you’ll just pleeeease help me find that cellphone I’ll sing your praises to everyone I meet today.”  I dialed the cell number and turned my ear to the wind to listen for the ringtone melody I had downloaded months earlier.  Nothing.  Holy cow. 

“Start walking.”  I’m sure I heard Nancy Sinatra’s voice in my mind.

And so it began….my lonnnnng walk back around, over and through the property.  About twelve miles’  worth.  Every now and then, I’d hit redial and turn my ear up to the sky again.   Nothing.  Nothing.  Nothing.  I found myself talking aloud now:

“Are you serious?!  I mean, I’m juicefeasting.  And while I’m detoxing, I’m supposed to be KIND to my body…NOT go on a fifteen-mile hike!   And this is ALL because I thought mint might be good with my juice!”

 I began to swear. A lot.  Aloud.   
And that might be why God said, “You’re on your own now, Kiddo.  Shame on you,  Potty Mouth.”

Down the driveway.  To the road.  Up the other drive.  Around the front yard. Through “Mama’s Garden.”  Down through the orchard.  Parallel the back garden.   Down around the barn and outbuildings.  I just didn’t know if I could make this seventeen-mile hike all in one day. Things were looking grim.  I was getting desperate, as I was quickly running out of mowed lawn and was fast approaching overgrown, weed-covered Never-Never Land.

Suddenly, like a choir from Heaven, I heard it.  Oh my goodness….I stepped into those tall weeds like a new fawn, fearless and oblivious to the possibility that snakes or other not-so-pleasant creatures might be there, just waiting for an unsuspecting creature like me to make a mistake.  

But I couldn’t think about that.  All I could think about, with a big smile on my face now, is how much I loved the song that was wafting through the air.  I zeroed in on the sweet, instrumental sounds .  Percy Faith.  Theme From A Summer Place.  Circa  1960.  The one song in all of time that takes me back to the sweetest, most carefree and lovely time of my childhood-  swimming, boating and crab feasts on the banks of the Potomac River in Southern Maryland;  Percy Faith over the loud speakers perched in the trees overlooking the river bank, and me, surrounded by family, and my mama and daddy, who were both living then.  Life was good.   Life was simple.  Life was sweet.  And I—was a happy girl. 

For a moment, I stood still there, in the warm sunshine, not in any hurry to pick up the phone,listening to that song. And when I closed my eyes, I could see my parents’ smiling faces. When it stopped, I opened my eyes and realized I had been smiling, too. 

As I slowly began to walk the 50 yards or so back toward the house, three things occurred to me:

I’m a happy girl, NOW, too.
God is great.
And, I need a big, tall, cool juice.

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